Revive Your Relationship!

Don't give up!  Relationships can be very challenging and we all can get stuck at some point.  With a little help, you can feel understood and connected in your relationship again, and find true happiness.

Conflict resolution is not enough.  We can help you shift your relationship on a deeper level to improve the trust and security as well, so you can have a love that lasts.

We believe in the power of relationships, we are not neutral as to whether your relationship lasts.  We want to do everything we can to help your relationship thrive.  Even when it comes to surviving affairs, we want to help your relationship recover if there is any chance at all, because it's that important.

We have a passion for couples therapy at CFTC.  Couples therapy is a difficult type of therapy that requires specialized training and skills in order to effectively help struggling couples.  All too often couples have gotten therapy with a well intentioned, but inexperienced therapist leaving them frustrated, and possibly giving up too soon.  Therefore, CFTC has was developed as a center dedicated to continuously train and master therapy models and techniques that are designed for couples and strengthening relationships. 

CFTC  emphasizes training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy developed by Susan Johnson specifically for couples.  The model is dedicated to securing the attachment between partners.  When a couple feels reconnected and secure again, the daily problems and conflicts become much easier to solve.  
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How couples counseling at CFTC can help:

• Feeling more hope and happiness in your life
• Increased self-esteem
• Happier children and family
• Increased physical health
• Improved mental health
• Increased security and emotional well-being for your children
• Improved performance and success for the family-work, school, etc.
• More ability to cope with life's difficulties and disappointments
• Decreased depression and anxiety
• Less risk to emotional trauma
• Decreased conflicts
• More ability to problem solve together
• Less risk of emotional or physical affairs
• Dare I go on...and on...and on....

Signs you might need couples counseling:
 

• You are repeating the same arguments with no resolution
• You are feeling so distant you're practically roommates
• You are losing hope that your relationship will survive
• Intimacy and sexual interactions have significantly decreased
• Conflict is escalating
• You are not spending any quality time as a couple anymore
• The only thing you feel you have in common is your children
• You find you are sharing your relationship concerns with others, but not with your partner.
• You find you are looking for escape with alcohol, drugs, internet, television, etc.
• You feel no matter how hard you try, your partner does not understand you
• You hear yourself saying, "we don't communicate," or "we need communication skills"

What to expect in couples counseling:

First the therapist will meet with you as a couple to get a clear idea of what you are looking for, and see if the therapist is a good fit for you.

Second, the therapist will likely have an individual session with each of you to give you a chance to privately discuss your concerns and perspective.  We will also gather your personal history and address any of your individual needs or concerns.  The following sessions will then primarily be couples sessions, with individual sessions as needed or necessary due to circumstances.

The therapist will want to know what your goals are as a couple.  What would you like to see change in your relationship?  How will you know when things are better? 

We will help you identify the patterns you get stuck in that are damaging your relationship.  You will both begin to see what these patterns look like, how they repeat, and how they are hurting both of you.  Together you will need to break these patterns and begin a new way of interacting.

Emotions are going to become the center of attention.  Good couples therapy goes beyond teaching communication skills and learning new behaviors.  The goal will be for each of you to understand your own emotional experiences, as well as your partner's emotions, that are underlying your patterns.  You will need to look at your own role in the patterns and gain a better understanding of yourself.  This will feel like a shift from focusing on how your partner needs to change in order for you to feel better. 

Once you truly understand yourself better you will be able to successfully help your partner understand what you feel and what you need. 

You will experience in the sessions your deeper emotions and needs, and will interact with your partner in a way you possibly have never done before.  This will give you a new experience of how to truly connect and communicate with your partner, finally feeling heard and understood.  

As a partner, you will have the support of the therapist as you are learning how to be responsive and to develop a deeper relationship.  You will build your confidence in your ability to be there for your partner.

Once you have increased the connection and trust, you will be able to start effectively problem solving the issues you have previously struggled to resolve.

In the end, we hope for you to feel renewed in your relationship, and optimistic about a long future together.


How often do we have to meet and how long will this take?

This of course can vary.  We know that couples counseling can be especially challenging due to work schedules, child care, etc.  We aim to provide enough options and flexibility to make services available to you, such as:

• You could come in for 50 minute sessions every 1-2 weeks.
• You could opt for longer sessions which tend to be more effective for couples, such as 1.5-2 hour sessions a couple times per month.  Insurance does not tend to pay for this however.
• Intensives are committing  larger time periods to have a bigger impact on the relationship immediately.  These can be 1-3 days, up to 4 hours per day.  These are a good option for couples in crisis as well, such as after discovering an affair, or on the verge of divorce, etc.  These would have larger gaps of time between them and are a good option for those who cannot find regular times in their schedule.   Some only want to do this one time, or this could also be done as a jump start and then followed with more regular 50 minute sessions.
  
• A couple committed to making the relationship work, coming regularly, and following through with tasks outside of the session can often be done in 12-20 sessions.  However, there is so much variation that it is difficult to truly estimate.  For more severe couples, dealing with an affair for example, the process can take a length of time for the relationship to heal.  
• Most couples seem to feel increased hope, and experience a lot of positive changes very early on in the process.